It is a well know fact all people on television are there because they're superior human beings. We are the chosen ones. Some are selected for their superior genetics - the shocking blue eyes, the chiseled cheeks; some the unique ability to skip meals and avoid sweets; and some, like myself, for having a crap-hole of a backyard in need of a new fence. One day, I opened the Home and Garden section of my local paper The Larchmont Chronicle and discovered a one inch add that read:
"Searching for gardens in the Larchmont area to renovate for Home and Garden Television Network new show "Landscaper's Challenge"."
All television personalities are called to their destinies by the Fates, as directed by Zeus. Little known fact: the Fates are big into personal ads.
The second awkward question strangers ask me about my HGTV garden renovation is: Did they do it for free?
Free? Free? Free?! The marketing genius behind HGTV "Landscaper's Challenge" is you can sell commercial television time to sponsors; and then, find an eager, naive homeowner to pay for the product of the show. In short, I paid a television station to renovate my garden. You can practically smell their profit, can't you! And, yes, I spent double what I had budgeted. No, I wasn't paid to be on their television show. Nor, do I, or my garden, receive residuals. (I guess they feel all the wonderful days and evenings spent in my spendid garden is benefit enough.) I did receive some free sod. Also, a low quality rainbird sprinkler-timer which my water-guy (He has a masters degree in h2O; go figure.) said wouldn't be useful in the long-term for my garden. I'm pretty sure the contractor walked off with the rainbird sprinkler timer.
It was the really good kind of sod though.
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